I must admit, love is one of my favorite topics to discuss. I experienced a lot before I found my future husband at 27 years old. At one point, I was reading book after book about love. In my quest to understand love, I learned mounds of information I believe is important to share. We will start with finding the love you deserve.
Let’s perform an exercise. I want you to do something that makes you feel like yourself. For me, I love making my favorite coffee, opening all the windows in the house on a beautiful Saturday or Sunday morning and reading cookbooks. Baking is a hobby of mine, so it always makes me feel fresh to explore new recipes I might try the following weekend. Maybe you enjoy climbing into your Eno on the porch with a good book, whatever it is, do something that makes you feel like the happiest version of yourself.
Your heart should feel full and satisfied. You should feel as though, wherever you are or whatever you’re doing, this exact feeling is your favorite of all. This is the love you deserve. We will call these moments of feeling like your happiest self, your “perfect moment.” .
Not every post will pick up right from the last like a new chapter, but this true story is worth telling in two parts. The reason I made it this way is because I truly couldn’t figure out where to start with this doozy!
First, I have three requests from my readers: 1] If you know us, please forgive us if we lied to you, 2] If you don’t know us, enjoy the read, 3] Either way, learn something from this post!
I spent a lot of time telling lies to myself about nearly everything I experienced in life. No matter your religion or your marital status, you are human. Humans have pride; we have defense mechanisms set in place for things which we are all too familiar with; we have negative habits that creep in when things aren’t going right. All these things are true for me. When I was single, I use to tell myself: “there’s no one left”, “everyone who is left is weird obviously from being single so long”, “everyone that’s left has kids and has been married because I’m older now”, I’m too independent, that’s why I can’t find someone”, “I’m too obnoxious, I talk too much it turns men off”, “I don’t have a good enough career yet”, “I think maybe I’m weird and guys just want the sweet little quiet girl”, “I’m going to have to change parts of myself to fit with someone”, “maybe true love isn’t what I thought”, “my expectations are set too high, maybe.”
Was that a long list? That’s was just what I could come up with in 45 seconds.
Raise your hand if you think dating sucks. Not the cute dates you and your husband go on- I mean dating people you don’t really know in your quest for “the one.” Let’s all agree that it’s really exhausting to be asked several hundred questions about yourself where you have to pretend to love your life even though after the date is over you’re going back to scrolling Insta just to see all the newly engaged couples while you cry and drink wine in your bed….alone.
So, maybe I went overboard, but we’ve all been there at one point in our lives, right? Weather you’re married, dating or single, at some point you’ve experienced the awkward stage of searching for “the one”. Or perhaps you met your husband or wife early in life and never went through this but maybe you’ve wondered what it would be like if you hadn’t met them. Look no further! Here I am to tell you the truth if your wondering, give you tips if you’re stuck in the abyss and, as a bonus, I’ll share my own interesting experiences with you.
I just turned 30 a few weeks ago so I’m now able to use the phrase “in my twenties” in the past tense which makes me seem smarter. I spent a lot of time in my twenties doing what most twenty-somethings do: pretending I had tons of time before marriage and kids. As a result, I was pretty selfish and reckless. I don’t regret it.